The one thing stay at home moms should be doing every single day

It's been said that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert in something. If we go by that idea, then after 16 years of being a stay at home mom, I think I'm going to don that expert title and roll with it.

Just last year, besides my blog {that I work on from home}, I started working outside of the home on a very part time basis as a substitute teacher. I have learned a few things, but one of those things I think is the one thing that stay at home moms should be doing every single day.

It wasn't that long ago that I had a houseful of very cute but very mischievous little people. I remember when this picture was taken. Our youngest, who was a toddler, was very interested in the gingerbread house that his sister had made. We had it sitting on display in our entry and the little guy took the chance to sneak away and pull the tray with the gingerbread house down so that he could have a little snack.

He's shoving his mouth full of gingerbread house candy oblivious to the fact that his sister is heartbroken on the floor looking at the damages of her hard work and beautiful creation.

I know very well what the days look like when you stay at home with your children, and now I can compare it with those of the working parent. Here is the one thing that I take away with me from my job that I wasn't doing before. It may just be life changing for you stay at home moms.

Motherhood and transformation-How your life changes when you become a mom

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of COUNTRY Financial® for IZEA. All opinions are 100% mine.

I've gotten a bit sappy and sentimental this year. You see, my oldest son, the little boy who made me a mom, is entering into an exciting year.

He's a senior in high school and while it's barely December, he's applied at colleges and university's all over the country. Next year at this time, his zip code, heck probably even the state he lives in is going to be different than the one we share together right now. For the past 17 years, we've shared life in the same four walls. He's taught me how to be selfless and how to love unconditionally. He gave me the gift of motherhood and that role has changed me for the better.

I was one of the first of my friends to have a child. I remember talking to them about how life wouldn't really change. The only thing that would be different is that I would have a baby. No big deal. Holy cow, was I wrong! The moment that baby was placed in my arms, my world was totally different.

It took time for me to find my way through this new role of mom. I had played the part of daughter, friend, and sister for a long time. The role of newlywed was new and it wasn't long before I became a mom. I was now balancing all these roles and I wasn't sure how to navigate that balance.

I was only 20 when my son was born and my life revolved mostly around me. My decisions were mostly driven by what I wanted to do and what I needed. As soon as that baby was placed in my arms, it was no longer about me. I didn't just become a mom that day, we became a family.

While you hear that your life will change when you become a mom, you don't always believe it. I think it's because change usually has a negative connotation. My life changed completely when I became a mom, but it changed for the better. I made sacrifices being a young mom, and while I know my 20's would have looked quite different had I held off parenthood as long as the majority of my friends did, I know that I would have missed out on learning so much about myself during that time.

As my son grew and started to ask questions, I learned more and more about myself and my values. I learned what was really important and what really wasn't. I learned to slow down, to laugh more and to be intentional. So new mom, yes, your life is going to change completely after you have a baby, but it doesn't mean that you stop being you. You actually start being a new better version of you. A version that has eyes watching you and ears listening to you and a child who mimics your every move and that version turns into the version of it's best self.

And now, 17 years later, as I prepare to send that young man that still calls me mommy out into this world, I know that I have grown into that role as mom.  I embrace that role with pride and while part of my heart will leave this home and head out into the world, I have given my whole heart to be his mother. Plus also, Lord bless us, we still have two more kids at home to hug on and Lord Jesus, that is all that is holding this sappy mom together, because it's true what they say, the days are long but the years are short.

So I look to all you new moms, those moms with babes in their bellies and in their arms and crawling up their legs, those moms who haven't gone to the bathroom by themselves in years and those who haven't slept in weeks with a fond remembrance. Those days are long gone for me, but I remember them well. 

Your life will change completely, but you will be completely better, and one day you will look back on those sleepless nights and those long {oh so very long!} wakeful days and you will remember the small hands that slipped into yours, the sticky kisses and the incessant questions from curious toddlers and you will realize that you have never loved so deeply in all of your days and you won't regret a second.

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How to survive when you hand your keys over to your teen driver

We did it. We survived teaching and driving with a 15 year old.  Our oldest son Aidan was dying to drive for years and as a parent who has navigated the waters, we get asked often what some of our best tips are.
I won't say that we have all of the answers, but we do have some experience. These are a few of the ways that we survived teaching our son to drive.

Benefits of buying used gifts for your kids

It's hard to believe, but Christmas isn't that far off.  Some years it sneaks up on me.  Other years, I'm totally prepared.  The one thing that is consistent is that we really like to give more than we get. We started out as a very young family and early on set a $50 Christmas gift limit for our kids.  We didn't want our kids getting consumed by wish lists and having Christmas be all about them.  We wanted them to be thinking of others.

Because we have set this limit on Christmas gifts, I've had to get creative.  Especially as they get older.  There are things that they have really desired, but that haven't been in the budget. I wanted to share some of the benefits that we have found because we have bought used gifts for our kids.

How to shop smart for your kids Halloween costume

Halloween is my favorite holiday behind Christmas. I love free stuff and candy, so there isn't much better in life than combining those two loves.  

I've also always been a big fan of dressing up. I actually don't know too many kids who don't love pretending they are someone or something else and expressing that with some fun costume and accessories. 

Going beyond "fine" how to get your kids to really talk

So your kid walks in the door after school and the first thing out of your mouth is "how was your day." It's instinctual.  My guess is the response you get is "fine." No long deep discussion and no clue as to what happened during those six plus hours that they were away from you.
My oldest son is a senior this year. Everyday this is our conversation when he walks in the door.
Mom: How was school today? Aidan: Fine. Mom: What did you do? Aidan: Oh, you know things. Mom: What kind of things? Aidan: Stuff.
It's sort of our little running joke now. Things and stuff are his one word responses to anything that I ask about school. I guess it could be worse.
There are times when we all fall into the "I'm fine" trap for an answer, but there are days when we know our kids have a little bit more going on in their head than they are letting on to. I've found some surefire ways to get kids to talk after school so that we can open up the lines of communication with them and get just a little glimpse into their day.

It's my birthday! 30 things I learned in my 30's

It's my birthday today! I'm 37 and am happy to enter into my late 30's. I've actually really loved being 30. I spent my 20's having babies and generally making the sacrifices that come with parenting young children. I feel like once I hit my 30's I finally had time to focus on me and start figuring out who I really am. 

Today, I'm sharing with you 30 things that I have learned in my 30's.

How to pack the perfect college care package

My husband and I still reminisce about the days when we were in college.  We lived in the same dorm {boys on one side, girls on the other} and would often run into one another at the common mailboxes that were shared in the center of our H-hall.  Both of us had OMCH--Obsessive mail checking habit for those less informed.  We loved getting mail even if it was just a catalog and because it was the campus mail system, sometimes mail would get delivered more than once a day. 

We've been involved in children's ministry at our church for years so when our first set of "kids" went off to college four years ago, I got in the habit of sending out care packages. I thought if we loved getting mail so much, other people probably like getting mail a lot too. Over the course of the years, I've gotten pretty good about my college care packing abilities.  So much so that I have the goods on how to pack the perfect college care package.

A back to school guide for the teenage (and college) years

This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of Schick®. The opinions and text are all mine.

The start of this school year is a little bittersweet for me.  It will be the last year when I have all three of my kids at home starting school together.  

It's hard to believe this sweet boy who started Kindergarten with a teddy bear, will be starting his senior year.  We have been researching colleges and talking about future plans a lot, but it still doesn't feel like this little guy-my little guy-should be heading off into his final year of high school and preparing for college in less than a year!

When my kids were in elementary school we would receive a supply list from their school with everything they needed listed from glue sticks to markers on it. I would purchase the items and cross each one off as I got it filling a bag with their school supplies that would get unloaded on back to school night. Now that I have two teenagers the back to school shopping has changed a little bit.
Instead of crayons we are picking up disposable razors, instead of safety scissors we are stocking up on deodorant.  Back to school shopping is different from those elementary school days, which is why I have put together a little back to school shopping guide for the teenager years.  

Top 5 reasons why you should volunteer as a family and ideas on where to start

There's a quote that I heard when I was early on in this parenting gig that says "more is caught than taught" and I think that is true of so many things. Most importantly, I think being a good example for our kids when it comes to how we spend our time is a great model to our children of what is most important to us.

We all have the same amount of time in a day.  The most important decision you make is what you choose to do with your time.

My husband and I think it's so very important to model and engage our children in volunteering in our community and here are five reasons why and some tips on how you can get your whole family involved in helping in the community.

Aspiring musician in your family? The secret to surviving the learning years!

Our oldest son drummed on everything. It started when he was a toddler and it seemed to continue with no end in sight.  He would drum on pots.  He would drum on boxes.  He would drum on the table.  He started asking for a drum kit and our response was always no.  Why?  Because drums are loud!  

As parents we encourage our kids to practice their musical instruments, but let's be honest, sometimes it's brutal! There have been a lot of screeching notes and the same song on repeat more times than I would like to remember!  

Learning music is tough, but it's so important.  Find out how you can make it a little less painful on everyone in the whole family!

Are you putting limitations on yourself?

This post is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Godspeed Pictures, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #wherehopegrowsmovie http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV
"I'm just a mom." Have you ever found yourself saying that?  I know that I have caught myself saying that phrase... More than once this year even!
My primary job for the past 16 years has been that of a stay at home mom.  I graduated college married with a toddler and despite the degree with the fresh ink, we had decided that I would stay at home and be the primary caregiver of our children.
One child, turned to three {how does that happen?!} and I loved my role as a mom. Though there were times that I felt like I was saying no to God and opportunities that He had given me because of limitations that I was setting on myself. I was in a season on life that placed limitations on my schedule because the kids were young and I was the primary caregiver, but as the kids got older, I realized I started hiding behind those limitations and using them as an excuse.  Thankfully, our perceived limitations do not stand in the way of God's purpose.

Lowering your expectations to have a successful Mother's Day

About seven years ago, I had one of the worst Mother's Day's ever.  We were in counseling with our oldest son and I was starting to come out of the fog of post postpartum depression with our youngest. My husband didn't get me a single gift. Not even a card. He barely acknowledged that it was Mother's Day. I was broken. And then sitting through church service, I wept the whole time as the pastor spoke lovely Mother's Day sentiments while a collection of pictures of mother's with their children scrolled by on the screen.  My picture with my kids...my life...was absent because my husband hadn't submitted one.  It was a rough day that still feels raw when I think about it. But if anything good came from it, it's that I have a whole new take on Mother's Day. It's called lowering your expectations. 

Snack time!

There was no school today.  The kids were all home fighting, hungry and testing every last bit of patience that their mama had.  My three kids are all capable of finding something to eat on their own {hallelujah!} and a few of them aren't even afraid of the oven. I had heard a few hundred times as my kids stood in front of the recently stocked {as in just yesterday I spent a small fortune} pantry and then moving on to the "can we squeeze just one more thing in jenga style" fridge how we had nothing to eat.  
One sweet child {who will remain unnamed} was begging for these prehistoric animal shaped nuggets that he had had at a friends house a few weeks ago.  I'm actually super grossed out by those nuggets because a) I don't think that there is a whole piece of meat inside of them and b) they are the soggiest mess when they cook that I don't think they are even fit for human consumption.

A child's life

I've been thinking a lot about how very different the life of a child is in rural Zambia than one in America. In an area where nearly 45% of the people are under 18 it's easy to find yourself surrounded by children. I've met newborns and teenagers, babies learning to walk and children who can count their age on their fingers.
When I meet children who are the same age as my own three kids, I usually pay more attention to what those children are doing. I'm fairly certain that my 9, 12 and 16 year old children wouldn't be able to last a day in the village. My kids have it unbelievably easy.  They are responsible for very little.

Evidence of a parenting win

We were at a swim meet recently. My youngest son is nine and has joined the team just this year. We are still learning the ropes and figuring out what it looks like to participate in events. One thing we have learned is that they start ungodly early and are usually in locations that are at least an hour away from home. There is a fair amount of waiting usually while we are squeezed in bleachers with no regards to personal space.

On this particular morning warm ups had ended and there really wasn't anything to do for about an hour and a half. I had tucked my iPad into my bag since we all know that that's instant entertainment for boredom. I saw Owen wandering the poolside and fingered the iPad in my bag. I almost pulled it out and called him over but I thought I would give him a second to see what he would do.

Pray for your children's future mates

I knew before I even met him that I was meeting someone special.  A sorority sister of mine had just broken up with a guy that was too nice to not be snatched up she said.  She wanted me to meet him, to scout him out for a friend on our floor.  I knew I was meeting him for a friend, but for some reason I took out my curling iron and spent just a few minutes on my hair.   I saw him sitting there, on a friends bed turned couch as most dorm rooms happen to function. He had a maroon hat with a curved bill pulled down low.  His cheeks were red and flushed as if he had just run a sprint, though he had only just been sitting there for the past hour.  I was privy to a conversation that he was having about an upcoming fraternity function, though I said not one word to him.  I was taken by him.

Make up tips for your teen daughter and natural beauty for yourself

My daughter will be 13 next month. She will be entering into her teen years which had me starting to think about how I feel about make up.  Isabella started experimenting with mascara earlier this year. I guess I had my head buried in the sand because it hadn't even occurred to me that someone who is as beautiful as she is would even think about wanting to wear make up.  I remembered being younger than her though when I started sneaking my mom's make up from her bathroom.
I thought that instead of sneaking make up from my drawer that we would have an open discussion about it.  But first I had to question her to see why she wanted to start wearing make up in the first place.  At this age, some of it is just to fit in with your peers.  Your friends are doing it, you want to do it too.  And while that's not a great argument for most things, this time, with something as innocuous as make up, I let it fly.  
I've spent a lot of time in my kids schools.  I've seen middle school girls who I can tell sneak into the bathroom before school and put on a mask of make up. I also see high school girls who wear far too much make up and really could use a few tips. I don't want to prohibit my daughter from something that is quite harmless and I want to encourage her to wear make up in the way that it was intended...to enhance your natural beauty.

Lunch box items that receive the Holy Craft seal of approval

By now, you are at least a few weeks into school. {can I get an Amen!} You have found that the blue water bottle you pack leaks, the container with the applesauce doesn't close again properly and spills and by the end of the day the lunch box you kid is using is all wet. Wet? Why?  Who knows!
After careful trial and error, {who am I kidding!} lots of failed lunches and years of experience,  I come to you like Good Housekeeping with their seal of approval and am giving you a run down of the lunch box items that get the Holy Craft seal of approval.

It all starts with the proper lunch bag.

Some are too small and you can't fit even a sandwich in, some are too big and the kids can't fit them in their backpacks.  I found the perfect size in these LL Bean lunch bags.

The insulated bag keeps things cool until lunch time

  {I put a small ice pack in the inside pouch}

 and is easy to clean.

I always pack water in my kids lunches.  We went through water bottle after water bottle trying to find one that could be store on it's side in a lunch bag for hours each day and not leak. We finally found one and I am happy to report that the camelback kids  water bottle not only doesn't leak, it has also lasted for several school years and is still going strong.

I don't buy a lot of pre-packaged lunch items for my kids.

It's just not economical.

It doesn't take me long to fill up a small Ziploc bowl of trail mix, crackers or fruit and pop it in the kids lunch.

I have even been known to make my own jello and pudding cups in these Ziploc containers.

A can of mixed fruit with the juice not drained and added to the cups before it is frozen is one of my kids favorites.  One can makes about five servings.  

It not only acts as an ice pack in their lunch, it also is a healthy slushy treat come lunch time.

These Ziploc bowls hold up well {I've been using the current bowls for the past two years}and they don't leak.  Don't be confused or tempted to buy the off brand.  

I have and it's a huge mess.

These work.

Promise!

Kids usually need a spoon in their lunch. 

I pack cheap spoons and then tell the kids not to throw them away.

Did you know you can put plastic utensils in the dishwasher?

You can.

They wash up well and you are saving the environment.

Win win.

Speaking of saving the environment, I try to cut the waste down that my kids have by sending reusable snack bags and sandwich wraps.

You can find the tutorial on how to make your own, here.

{it was one of my first tutorials, please don't judge me for my pictures.}

The final thing I slip in my kids lunch bag is a slim ice pack.

These are the ones my kids use. 

They don't sweat and stay cold for the whole day.

Those are my no fail lunch box items.

They have earned the Holy Craft seal of approval and I know you won't be disappointed if you try them as well.

I am not receiving any kick back from my recommendations, just a mom willing to help another mom out.  

Head lice. Prevent it. Treat it. Or blow up your house and start over

It's been about six years since our family dealt with the worst head lice outbreak ever. My adorable daughter with her flowing brown locks picked up head lice from either the jerk kid who also threw up on her in Kindergarten, or from the big comfy couch in the classroom that the kids liked to snuggle up on at reading time.
Whichever, I don't care, we were infested. She brought it home, shared it with her brothers and then continued to swap it with her friends  THE WHOLE SCHOOL YEAR. Six years later, I am only now able to talk about it. I think back on that time and cringe. Which is why I want to offer you the parent's survival guide to head lice.

First off, let me start by saying that if your child gets head lice it isn't because they are dirty or that your house is unclean.  Dr. Hannah Chow Johnson at Loyola University confirms that head lice is actually attracted to clean shiny hair. So bonus points for you and your clean headed children.
Head lice are easy for kids to get because they are in such close contact with other kids. Kids hug with their whole body and typically put their heads together when they do. They share combs and hats and dress up clothes. Kids snuggle in with stuffed animals and flop around on bean bags and chairs and car seats. All these places are hidden spots for head lice and your child's head is the perfect breeding ground for them.
As a parent, let me tell you, it is far better if you find those little nits or lice in your child's head before the school nurse does. Every school has a different policy, but our school's policy at the time was that a child that was found infected could not return to the classroom until they were nit free. My daughter was out of school for weeks because we couldn't seem to get the outbreak under control no matter what we did. It was a ridiculous policy because there were no bugs, only nits {like a handful if that!} and if you know anything about nit's its that they are glued on to the hair shaft and they aren't going anywhere. That is, until they hatch.
What it looks like Kids with head lice will typically be scratching their heads more than normal. You will find small red bumps {bite marks} on the nape of their neck and by their ears. And sometimes you can feel crawling on your head.
Here is what we did Every night we would wash our daughter's hair and every week we would use an over the counter lice treatment. Once she was out of the bath, my husband would read a book to the kids while I took a fine tooth comb and literally combed through every.single.strand of her head. If I found a nit {a small white egg}, I would cut it out of her hair at the scalp {believe me, we thought about shaving her head!} along with the handful of strands next to that were next to the nit. If we found a live bug, we would squish it and dispose of it. The strands were discarded into a plastic bag that would be tied up and thrown away at the end of the evening.  The process of combing and cutting would take around an hour each night. We did that for THREE months!
After we combed her hair, we would try whatever witch doctor treatment I read about that week. We doused her hair with Scope, dish detergent, mayonnaise, olive oil {individually, never together} and then put a shower cap on her head to sleep with.
In the mornings, I would strip her sheets and take her used towels and clothes {every.single.day for 6 months} and wash them on hot.
All of her stuffed animals were stored in a plastic garbage bag until she was cleared of lice. I also had a lice spray that I would use on her car seat and on the one spot on the couch she was allowed to sit. That child had the plague in our house as far as I was concerned.
You would think that with all of these treatments we would have gotten rid of the lice or prevented them from spreading but alas, they did not. One parent can only do so much, so if your child's fellow students are in class and their parents aren't as dedicated to lice removal as you are, then there becomes a lice epidemic. And a child who has recently had lice is the most susceptible to getting it again within the first 6 months.
What worked Here is what finally worked for us. Nightly treatments with lice shampoo for three weeks straight. Most over the counter treatments say to use them every 7-10 days. Sorry, that just didn't work for us. We were not taking any chances, so we used it every single day. It just takes a few nits to create another outbreak. Nits can live on your head for up to two weeks before hatching, so we would treat, and then comb the hair out looking for bugs and nits. I was checking that girls head obsessively like a monkey. Again, we would dispose of them each night as explained above and I was still washing her sheets, clothes and towels on high every day. I would vacuum everything with an obsession. The couches, the car seats, the floor, everything.  I bought a bottle of tea tree oil and massaged it into her hair every morning because lice don't like the smell. Then we treated everyone in the house even if they didn't show any signs.
If you live in an area that has a lice treatment facility go there. I'm cheap, but there is no price for your sanity and the time that you will spend on your own trying to get rid of head lice. I had no idea such a place even existed until my nieces came home from school with lice. It's worth it. Seriously. Even if it costs you every penny you have in your IRA, it's still worth it.
Prevent it My heart still drops into my stomach when my kids come home with a letter from the school saying that someone in their class has been found to have lice. I don't wish head lice on even my worst enemy. I still have tea tree oil on hand and start dropping that on the kids if I hear that lice is going around. Make sure your kids don't share helmets or hats or combs. And then say a prayer over your whole family that no one starts itching their heads or this whole lovely process starts all over again. My head is starting to itch just thinking about it.
If you find yourself on the other end of a phone call home from the school nurse telling you that your child has lice, take a deep breath, and then Google head lice treatment facilities and book the first appointment that they have. If you think you want to try treating it on your own, be consistent. And don't stop even when you think you are in the clear.
Do you have any other tips to share? Not for me because if we get head lice in our house again, everyone is shaving their heads and we are blowing up the house and moving to a different state.