What not to Google

Last week my husband and I were just sitting on the couch talking and he asked me if I knew what those little hanging balls were inside of your throat. Not the uvula that hangs down at the back, but the balls inside your throat.  He had just had a scope because he was having some health issues and while the doctor was telling him all these things, he couldn't remember what that particular piece of anatomy was.

I didn't know either so I told him I wasn't sure.

He responded with "that's too bad because I was going to Google it but I didn't think "googling" balls in your throat would get me the results I was looking for."

I posted our little quip on Facebook because we are hilarious that's why. And the responses from my friends on what not to Google was hilarious.  I am sharing a few of those today and hope that you have some that you can add too because we could all use a good laugh. Plus also we are helping the fellow man from seeing things they cannot un-see on the interwebs. It's like a public service really. 

So here we go.  What not to Google...

Rachel's random ramblings and a little survey check in

Hi friends! It's been awhile since I've done a Rachel's random ramblings post {pretty sure I say that every.single.time}, so I thought I would check in with some random things that are rambling around in my head.
About 6 months ago, my then 16 year old son told me that the only thing he wanted for his birthday was to go to The Gentleman of the Road concert with me. Not his friends, but me. Now, he could have been saying that because none of his friends could afford the steep ticket price and the long weekend away on the other side of the state, but what I heard was I WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU. So, I bought overpriced concert tickets and we had our best time spending the weekend together.

It's my birthday! 30 things I learned in my 30's

It's my birthday today! I'm 37 and am happy to enter into my late 30's. I've actually really loved being 30. I spent my 20's having babies and generally making the sacrifices that come with parenting young children. I feel like once I hit my 30's I finally had time to focus on me and start figuring out who I really am. 

Today, I'm sharing with you 30 things that I have learned in my 30's.

Rachel's random ramblings

I haven't taken any time to share any of Rachel's random ramblings lately, but they have been rattling around in my head. As they say, there is no time like the present! So welcome to the latest edition of Rachel's random ramblings.

I always wondered why there were lights in appliances. You know, the ones that are on the front of your vacuum cleaner or inside your microwave. They always say, you don't know what you have until you don't have it anymore. About four years ago, we got a new vacuum {a Dyson that I had to convince my husband that it was worth spending more money on than I did my first car} and I have just started missing the light on the front of my vacuum. Dyson doesn't make their vacuum's with lights on them. Shut your face that it's taken me four years to notice or care, but I suddenly miss the light on the front of my old Hoover. I hate walking into a room and having to turn the light on just to see the dirt on the floor. I miss my light. I'm thinking about strapping a head lamp on my Dyson.

Dear vacuum manufacturer, please put the light back on the front of my vacuum cleaner. I miss it. Kind of like this lady misses her hour from daylight savings time.

Evidence of a parenting win

We were at a swim meet recently. My youngest son is nine and has joined the team just this year. We are still learning the ropes and figuring out what it looks like to participate in events. One thing we have learned is that they start ungodly early and are usually in locations that are at least an hour away from home. There is a fair amount of waiting usually while we are squeezed in bleachers with no regards to personal space.

On this particular morning warm ups had ended and there really wasn't anything to do for about an hour and a half. I had tucked my iPad into my bag since we all know that that's instant entertainment for boredom. I saw Owen wandering the poolside and fingered the iPad in my bag. I almost pulled it out and called him over but I thought I would give him a second to see what he would do.

This is not where I belong

The older I get, the more I realize how dependent my mood is on the weather.

I realized pretty early on living in the Seattle area that I needed to get a break during the dark dreary months and find some sun.

I spent nearly a week in Cancun, Mexico last week soaking up sun and enjoying rare one on one time with my husband and loving every minute of it.

One of our favorite things to do to start the day is to get out and run. I don't necessarily love the running part, but being outside, being active and exploring the area is a great way to start the day.

One of the songs that came on on my iPod as I was running was Building 429 "Where I Belong"

If you haven't heard it, or just love the song and want to hear it again, here it is.  It's a great one.

What is our common denominator?

I'm not much of a sports fan.  I follow along enough to make occasional comments, but sports just aren't that fun for me when I don't actually know the people that are playing.  

source 

Am I the only one wearing workout clothes to actually work out in?

Now that the kids are back at school, I have gotten back into running errands. Sue me if those "errands" include a trip to Marshall's, TJ Maxx and Target. There are a few obvious themes this time of year. The most obvious one is getting back in shape and hitting the gym. There are racks full of work out gear front and center in every store it seems. I haven't bought any new workout gear in over a year and thought that it might be time to get a few new shirts, you know, while everything is on sale and all.  But then I was hit with the reality that I don't think that people are actually buying these workout clothes to wear to workout in.

Why I don't buy school pictures

I have three school age kids.

Since my kids have been attending school, 

I have been getting those packets of information at the beginning of the school year from whatever local photography studio has been commissioned to the task of photographing every single child with the most hideous backgrounds available.

{this year there was a video game background.  Barf.}

Each year, I throw the packet away.

Straight to the trash it goes.

And every year, I feel like I have to explain to the school staff or to the photographers or to my children or to other parents why I don't buy school pictures of my children.

I thought I would throw my reasoning out there into the world

{o.k. at least to my little world}

in the hopes that maybe I could explain myself and quite possibly help another parent not feel guilted into buying cheap

 {and by cheap I don't mean money cheap, I mean cheaply done}

 pictures of their children that will end up in a drawer in an uncut sheet of wallets and "mini's".

Let's be honest, school pictures usually suck.

There is a whole section in awkward family photos dedicated to bad paid for school pictures.

Why?  Because school pictures are awkward.

Kids get shuttled in to an unused classroom or gym that has been made into a faux photography studio for the day.

Each child has three minutes to sit on a box and awkwardly find a hand placement on their lap before the photographer starts snapping away.

Three images are taken 

{four if you blink}

and then the child is sent packing stage left while the photographer bellows "next".

The portrait packages are far too expensive to be buying 

{especially in multiples of three}

bad pictures that will never see the light of day outside of their paper package.

Out of the 12 background selections for my oldest son's portraits,

not a single one was a color that would match with the rest of my house.

I'm not hanging them on my wall.

Shallow?

Probably.

But does it mean that I love my kids any less?

Nope.

In fact, my kids are adequately represented in portraits all throughout our home.

We have pictures lining the walls in our den, on our entertainment center and in our bedroom.

I just choose to hire a professional that doesn't use a laser striped background to photograph our kids.

Getting professional portraits aren't cheap, but I get far better pictures of my kids.

Pictures that I want to hang on the walls.

Pictures that I want to make copies of for my family and friends.

Pictures that I want to blow up and use as art.

Show me a school picture with an outer space background that you would want to blow up to a 16x20 and then maybe we can talk.

Until then parents, I release you of guilt.

You don't have to buy school pictures.

The earth will still be spinning.

Your kids will still be represented in the school year book.

Their pictures will still be used on their ASB cards.

Take the $33 that you don't spend on {most popular} package D and save it for family photographs.

You can thank me later.

Uganda-one month later. A reflection on my time in Africa.

It's been a month since I spent two weeks in Africa. It was an amazing trip and I can still hardly believe I went to Africa. Africa people.  Seriously!

I have traveled a lot, and actually really love to travel,  but suddenly now that I have taken my first trip out of this continent,  {can you believe that?! My first trip out of North America!} I feel like the world is wide open. So here we are, one month later and I want to share some of the things that I have reflected the most on.

Before I left, I shared with you that God gave me the word excess to dwell on.
I wasn't quite sure what God wanted me to do with that word while I was in Uganda, but man, now that I am home, holy cow, is that word all too prevalent!
Yesterday, I cleaned out our pantry. We had 10 boxes of cereal open. Seriously...10 boxes of cereal. And they were all different kinds. First off, who knew there were even that many kinds of cereal. I sent my husband a text as I was cursing open cereal boxes everywhere and wondered why the heck we had so many boxes of cereal open. Well, the father of my children apparently mixes THREE different kinds of cereal together everyday. If God wanted cereal to be mixed together, I'm pretty sure he would have put the cereal together in the first place. Before he had three seconds to text back, I consolidated those boxes together into a great cereal mix off.  Happy hunting. Excess.
I have produced three children. Our family of five is considered a big family by American standards. I am happy driving my mini van and make no bones about it. That is, until I saw a boda boda. There isn't anything that won't fit on a boda boda. This man had his whole basket back stock and a driver on his boda boda. I saw families of five, four grown men, full size beds, couches, you name it all on a boda boda. I'm thinking of getting a boda boda. If only it didn't rain so much in Seattle.

Call it poor timing, but having just come back from a country that struggles to have clean water I was having the hardest time wrapping my mind around the ALS ice bucket challenge. It was a genius fundraiser that not only brought awareness to a quiet disease but brought in a crap ton of money to an organization that hasn't seen funds pour in like that in like forever.  But the chain letter type nominating and waste of water...clean, pure water...had me having a hard time jumping on the bandwagon. Not to mention ice.   Ice is a luxury.

I was sitting in the lobby of one of the hotels that we stayed at in Hoima,Uganda in the only spot that got wi-fi {I can't complain, we had wi-fi.  In rural Africa. Blows my mind.} and the TV happened to be on to an MTV like channel.  One of the announcers was doing an advertising spiel about how warm coke is better. If you don't have electricity, you don't have a refrigerator, so your option is drinking warm fizzy coke. I tried it.  I didn't like it. But I digress... This week, my oldest son is turning 16. Holy cow! When did that happen! The only thing that has consumed his mind for the past six months has been getting a car. In the past two weeks, he's been thinking of nothing more than having the freedom to drive around in his own car. By himself. The begging is out of control. Sure, the child has money saved up, and he would like to purchase a car, but what he can buy with his funds would probably not be street legal. His begging, whining and pleading isn't getting him very far because let's be honest,  I just got home from Uganda where I saw stuff. I saw kids that were over the moon excited about clean water. I met kids who were beyond thrilled at the opportunity to go to school. I played soccer with kids that had never seen an actual soccer ball before. Their soccer ball made out of banana leaves and twine was enough. This boy pictured below is called Stephen. He was almost exactly my son's age. I asked him why he wasn't in school and he said because he had been sick. The reality of it is, boys Stephen's age are not encouraged to go to school. They need to start generating income for their families. My guess is, having a third car for his family wasn't the motivation he needed to get out and work in the fields that day.

America is a country of excess. My life is a life of excess. I see evidence of it every day.
I decided to take some of that excess and donate $35 more each month to sponsor another World Vision child named Sheila.  In the same area of Uganda that I just visited. I've already written Sheila two letters because I am so darn excited to hear from her! Excessive? Maybe. Have you thought about child sponsorship? There is a child waiting just for you. Find him or her today!

I ate ox balls

After our group left Uganda, we flew to Nairobi, Kenya.

Our group had discussed wanting to stop at Carnivore restaurant before we even left the states.

We happened to have some time before boarding our plane to the Masai Mara.

Carnivore is a meat lovers dream and most famous for their game meat.

The meat is skewered on Masai swords and cooked on coals.

It's then shaved off of the swords and onto your cast iron plate giving you as much meat to eat as your little heart desires.

This was the menu on the day that we ate there.

I tried a little bit of everything...

even the ox balls.

 Over dinner at home a few nights ago, I was sharing my dining experience with the family.

No one was impressed or wondering what ostrich meat balls or crocodile tasted like,

they wanted to know about the ox balls.

This is the actual conversation that was had at the dinner table.

Owen: you ate ox balls or like meatballs made out of ox?

Mom: like ox balls

Dad: yep, like those kind of balls

Owen: why would anyone eat those?

Mom: I don't know, maybe for the experience.

Dad: you should have said you were allergic to nuts.

I missed my family!

Rachel's random ramblings

It's 4:30 in the morning.  I fell asleep during family movie night at 7 and just couldn't wake myself up. Jet lag is winning.  So here I sit with random thoughts in my head.
I quit coffee on my trip. I switched to tea {which honestly, I think I may like better than coffee} and then just made the switch to decaf tea. I don't think it's helping in my quest to beat jet lag. This may not last long.

I haven't worked out since July.

As someone who hits the gym for about an hour and a half five days a week,

this is a huge change.

It just wasn't safe for me to go on a run in Africa and honestly, there just wasn't time for it.

I haven't taken a break from the gym since I had surgery.

Not sure I miss it yet though.

My first time driving after two weeks was super trippy.

In Africa they drive on the right side of the car and the left side of the road.

It's funny how quickly you get used to that.

It was hard to stay in my lane.

And seriously, lanes?!

That's sort of a foreign concept in Africa

{or most countries}

Most of our driving in Uganda felt like being on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland.

But for like hours at a time.

I kind of wanted to find a back country road and drive that just to feel normal.

My first stop was to the grocery store. Probably a big mistake. Talk about culture shock! The picture above is a picture of the large grocery store in Hoima, Uganda. It was sparsely filled with staples like sugar, oil, mayo and the most "processed" food was probably spaghetti. Walking into our large grocery store I was disgusted to see so much prepackaged overly processed food not just lining the aisles but overflowing to the rafters. And don't get me started on looking at the cart of "food"  {I use that term loosely since there wasn't a single unprocessed whole food item in all the $400 worth of groceries that they bought} that was being unloaded on the conveyor belt by the people in front of me in line.

I don't miss these though. The latrine. And this was a nice one. Thank you baby Jesus for my western toilet. Now if I could just figure out this sleep thing.

Rachel's Random Ramblings

It's been far too long since I wrote down my thoughts in a  Rachel's Random Ramblings. I'm sure you all have missed it. These are just a few things that have been rattling around my brain. I have the hardest time reading these captcha images. No joke, it usually takes me at least twice to figure out what it says if I figure it out at all.

I will never choose the middle answer on a survey. I learned in college that a neutral comment is thrown out.
I actually love surveys. I will fill them out nearly every time. I also find that if you want the best customer service, if you are prompted when you call to take a survey at the end of your call, take it, the service is always quicker and better.
We have always lived next to a Gene. Always. And it's always been a male Gene, not the female Jean.
I will take produce that is bad back to the store. Most stores have a policy about returning produce. I've never had an issue with it.
Speaking of stores,  my blood pressure sky rockets if I am standing behind someone writing a check in the grocery line. I want to grab their hands and walk them to the nearest bank and sign them up for a debit card ASAP. Holy cow people, it's 2014!
And while we are talking about blood pressure, I can never seem to find my pulse. You know when you are in an exercise class and they say find your resting heart rate? Never in my whole life have I been able to do that. I usually just put my fingers on my wrist and pretend.
Until about a month ago I didn't like mango's. I thought they tasted like pine trees. But now I love them and can't seem to get enough. I eat one nearly every night.
The Happy Song by Pharrell no longer makes me happy. Can you say overplayed much?
That's my randomness. What's random with you?

I'm on jury duty and these are the things that are making me laugh

This week I am fulfilling my civic duty and am serving on jury duty. At first I was really excited about being called for jury duty,  but once reality hit, I realized why people detest being called. Because I am sitting in jury room 123 all day, I thought I would share with you a few things that were making me laugh. source lava too... source While on our honeymoon, my husband threw a rock at and hit a crocodile in a swamp. I'm thinking he would have thought twice had he seen this sign. yep, about right. source I want to do this! and this. Seems right. I think my bike looks better source
Hopefully you saw something that brought a smile to your face. Feel free to follow along with me on my "funny stuff" board on pinterest.

Rachel's Random ramblings

It's been awhile since I have taken the time to do a Rachel's random ramblings. I thought that it was long overdue. Especially since I have a lot of stuff rambling around in my head!
As you read this, I am sitting on a beach in Maui with some pretty awesome girlfriends. I am thankful to get the opportunity to travel away from my family for a little mom retreat. If you want to live vicariously through me, you can follow me on instagram at holycraft1.

Before I left I saw this article called "The Mom Problem" by Aaron Ivey. It's a good read but since my blog demographic is a bunch of moms, I am probably preaching to the choir. Go ahead and forward it to your husband.   I did.
And speaking of my husband, he's a pretty awesome guy to allow me to travel without him, take care of the kids and the house and run our crazy schedule solo for the week. God bless him!
In preparation for our great Midwest trip this past summer, my oldest son got sucked into country music. For some reason, road tripping in a mini van in Kentucky with his family made him think that he needed to make a CD of country songs. And that my friends, has started him on a country music kick. While Aidan is on a country music kick, being a teenager, the rest of us are being dragged right along with him on that kick. Here are a few things that I have noticed about country songs. Most of them start with "Hey girl" everyone has a truck with a rolled down window and they all go cruisin' sometimes they stop by a river and drink a beer and every song mentions jeans While we are talking about songs, a friend on Facebook posted this Valentine. I dare you to not sing Lion King.

I love using my silhouette software and use the print and cut feature most often.

Lately, I've had issues with it reading the registration marks.

I tricked it into reading the registration marks by going over them with a sharpie.

Yep, that's what I do with my time...trick a machine used for cutting.

It seems so simple, but this saved me tons of time and maybe it will save you time too.

You're welcome!

source

Now back to whale watching and soaking up sun!

My thoughts on customer service, things we wish we could tell the people behind the cash register

The only *real* paying jobs I have had have been working in customer service or retail positions. While I have a bachelor's degree {that I am quite proud of} I have made the choice to stay at home with my children and that has meant that I haven't sought out a paying career in my field. With five years of experience, in an industry that we come in contact with nearly every day, I want to share my thoughts to you.   They are worth what you are paying for them. 1. Don't ask me if you don't care I was at Target the other day and was in a line three customers deep. I heard this particular cashier ask each person in the most monotone voice "how are you doing today?" The woman in front of me said she was o.k. Which I think is an honest statement. Most of us reply with "I'm good" because we all know, the cashier is not your therapist. However, this cashier had the opportunity to engage this customer but replied back with the same standard reply "that's good." The cashier obviously didn't care but was saying what she thought was the standard chit chat that you are supposed to say. Honestly, I wish she hadn't said anything since it felt so disingenuous.  Also, it's a dead giveaway that you don't care when you repeat the question again to me. 2. When I am at the register, please don't ask me if I found everything o.k. This mostly applies at large chain stores or at the grocery store. It's become my newest pet peeve. Seriously, if I am in line at Wal-Mart and have been waiting for my turn for 20 minutes, and then get to the register and the cashier asks me if I found everything o.k., what am I supposed to say? If I say no, what are they going to do about it? The cashier, who does not work on commission, is not going to leave her post and hunt down whatever thing a ma bob I couldn't find in your six acre super store.
3. Know what you are selling My husband hates customer service employees. He usually does a ton of research on his own before buying a product {it took us three years to settle on the perfect mini van} He doesn't want an employee who knows nothing about the product they are selling,  to give him a sales pitch he doesn't care about, so that he can buy a product he isn't interested in. He also hates walking into Home Depot and some 16 year old kid who hasn't touched a hammer in his whole life is trying to explain how to weld together pipe fittings for a plumbing project when this kid can barely flush the toilet on his own {just ask his mom}. 4. Don't answer a call when a live person is standing in front of you Is this not the most frustrating thing ever??? I have been tempted more than once as I stand in a huge long customer service line to just call the front desk of the line that I am standing in. I'm more apt to get faster service. 5. Where are all of the employees? I'm usually fairly self sufficient in a store, but when I need to find something, I want to be able to find someone who can help me. Just last week, I was shopping in a new H&M outlet store looking for some shoes for my son. Every size but the size we needed was out and in my attempt to find a sales person, the only person I found working, was working the register with a line seven people deep. I have real money that I want to spend on real products in your store. It would be nice if you would help me be available to do that on my own terms. Is that too much to ask?
6. Don't ignore me I get it, working retail is probably not your life long career dream. You are putting in your time and getting a pay check, that's admirable,  but please don't ignore me while I am standing there wanting to spend money while you chat it up about your drunk weekend with your co-worker. 7.Call for back up I hate lines. I have no patience for them. If you have a store full of employees restocking and a line full of customers waiting to be rung up,  please call for back up. Or, if you are on the register, yet you walk to the back side of the store leaving the only register empty, it's annoying standing there waiting for you to return. I don't know where you went or how long you will be.
8. Don't try to pronounce my last name Don't get me wrong, it's nice when the barista's at Starbucks know your order and call you by name, butt at least once a week, I go the same grocery store and have for the past three years and each time I go, the cashier reads my last name from the bottom of the receipt, butchers it and I have to smile and thank them politely for thanking Ms. Toderro {it's Teodoro} for coming in. It would be one thing, if they attempted to remember my last name and use it the next time they saw me, but there is no effort there and each week, they waste my precious minutes waiting for them to look at my receipt, squint at my name like it's finally going to come to them and sound out my name and then proceed to call me by something that remotely sounds like it could be my last name. Don't bother. It goes back to number 1
I know this list is very one sided.  I'm sure the customer service employees have a list a mile long of things they just don't get paid enough to deal with. Hmmm...sounds like a good follow up post. Did I miss anything that you would add?

Rachel's Random Ramblings

So it's been awhile since I have done a Rachel's Random Ramblings post. I thought it was about time that you were allowed a small sneak peek into my crazy little mind. My kids have started watching Alf on Hulu. source Not quite sure what it is about old shows, but the kids just love them. Guess the old saying is true...they don't make 'em like they used to. The funniest thing is that my 7 year old son thought his name was "Ralph" for at least the first three episodes. This is made even funnier by the fact that he's made the same mistake with a friend's kid of ours.   His name is Evan, and Owen played with Evan for at least three hours. On the way home, he told me "I really like my new friend Kevin". Pretty classic stuff here people. My oldest son Aidan and I have a date once a week when I take him to drum lessons. He usually gets to choose what we do and most of the time, it's some time spent at the mall. Last week he wanted to check out some hats at Lids. source On our drive home I was telling him how I didn't really like that store. I think it's kind of ghetto. I was joking with him that every time I walked through the door I felt like I was about to join a gang and I had to choose a side or start flashing gang signs or something. Well, he thought this was funny, so he texted how witty his mother was to his friend Mark.
Mark and him had an exchange that went like this:
Aidan: My mom doesn't like Lids.  She thinks it's ghetto and thinks she has to join a gang when she goes in.
Mark: Oh.  What's your street name?
Aidan: I don't know.  I don't have one. How about Home Skillet?
After Mark asks him what his street name is, Aidan asks me if I have any good street name ideas.  You know, since I'm in a gang now and all.  So we spent a few minutes coming up with some sweet street names that he then texts back to Mark.
Aidan: My mom says 'Lil Muffin Or maybe Cat Daddy
Mark: What are you talking about? I need your street name. You know, like your address.
We laughed at that for awhile.  Funny stuff.
I made a new verse for our family for October. Well, I didn't make the verse, God did.  I just put it on paper and made it fancy. September's verse was a success for all parties involved. We took a vote and are heading out to ice cream to celebrate since we all memorized it. Pretty sure that's what Jesus would want us to do.

 Speaking of paper, I also made this as a wedding gift last month.

You can check out the wedding and all the details in this post.

One of the best garage sale scores in a long time, has been this power wheels jeep that I got for the kids.

Now mind you, my younger kids are 7 and 10, and probably well past the age that they should be riding in a power wheels toy, but they LOVE it.

source

I figured when I saw it for free on the side of the road at a neighborhood sale that something had to be wrong with it.  Nope.  The seat moves back to make more leg room, the radio works, it's even got headlights!  The kids take it into the empty lot by our house and drive with reckless abandon down the hill into the ditch pretending they are on the Indiana Jones ride at Disneyland.
Not to worry, they wear helmets.
I see they do have a little bit of Indiana redneck genes in them afterall!
My oldest son Aidan used his birthday money to buy some air soft gear that he has been wanting. The funny thing is, it came with a free friendship bracelet. They call it a flyye weave bracelet to man it up, but you think if you buy something as manly as this tactical vest it would come with a can of testosterone or something. A friend posted this amazon link on her facebook page the other day and the reviews are hilarious. Take some time to read them.  It's worth it. I wrote a guest post for Abby at My Yellow Sandbox. It's my version of the sweaty band that I saw on Olympian Jennifer Suhr this summer. What do you think?  Do you like the pink or the silver glitter better? So that seems like as much random as you can handle from me. What have you been up to lately?